Battle-Tested Strategies: How Successful Leaders Handle Workplace Conflict

Last night, I found myself in the middle of a classic family disagreement: household responsibilities. I think even if you live alone now, you can probably remember what it was like to live with other people and relate!

Having parents in their 70s has taught me that even a couple married for almost 50 years can still have disagreements. My mother and father disagreed about what to do about a sad tree in the backyard. Their area had a particularly hard winter a few years ago, and my father was convinced that the tree had suffered too much and should come down. My mother saw that the tree was still producing green leaves and wanted to try to save it. Thus, a small marital spat broke out.

Reflections on Conflict Resolution at Work

It got me thinking about conflict resolution for leaders in a work environment.

Unfortunately, unlike at home, you can’t just call a professional arborist for an opinion.

You have to be professional and work with these people collaboratively. Especially in a leadership role.

Conflict Resolution for New Leaders

So, how does conflict resolution for new leaders work? Let’s take a look.

Mediation: A Leader’s Secret Weapon

One of the most powerful conflict resolution methods a leader can use is mediation.

I was working with a leader recently; let’s call her Sam. Sam was dealing with an all-too-common challenge: managing competing personalities on her team.

Clash of Priorities

Two of her team members, John and Lisa, were constantly butting heads over the priorities for their team. John was working directly with the end users; Lisa was working directly with the team building the product.

John was adamant that one group of features would provide more value to the users and therefore had a higher priority.

Lisa was convinced that the team needed to focus on backend changes to improve the front-end user experience.

While things never got outright hostile, they were tense. The team was deadlocked on how to move forward because both John and Lisa were highly experienced members of the team.

Both of their opinions were valid and important, but it was up to Sam to figure out a path forward.

The Art of Mediation: Bridging Perspectives

Sam used a technique she learned from me in my program: her secret weapon, mediation.

She organized a meeting in a neutral environment where everyone felt safe to express their thoughts and facilitated a conversation between John and Lisa. She encouraged open communication, active listening, and empathy. Sam implemented the skills I taught her and was able to guide the conversation to make sure each person’s opinions were heard—really heard. Not just passed over.

Applying Mediation at Home

And it was the same with my issue with my parents. My mother felt like my father wasn’t listening to her side, and my father felt the same.

So how does conflict resolution for leaders work? And how about mediation?

First, start by identifying the issue. This gives everyone equal footing and a shared understanding of what needs to be resolved. You should summarize what you believe to be the issue in a sentence or two.

Then establish some ground rules. Depending on how contentious the conflict is, these may or may not need to be detailed and explicit. The more hostile the conflict, the more important it is that everyone agrees to be peaceful, productive, and respectful. Everyone must agree to the rules or the mediation won’t be successful.

From there, you should give each person a chance to state their case so you can gather information. They should speak without being interrupted to show respect (even from you, the mediator slash leader). That should be one of the ground rules agreed to at the beginning.

After each person has had a turn to speak their piece, there should be time to clarify any questions or clear up misunderstandings or confusion. You want these cleared up immediately.

Building Bridges: Finding Common Ground

Now that everyone is on the same page in understanding what the issues are, you can start to work towards a resolution.

First, identify common ground. Find places where everyone can agree. For example, with John and Lisa, they both agreed that the customer experience was the most important thing to focus on.

This helped them to build a rapport and remind them that they’re on the same team working towards the same ultimate goals.

Then, start to brainstorm solutions as a group. Encourage everyone to propose ideas. Remind them not to edit themselves and also reinforce that this is a safe space and no one should feel shy or embarrassed about their ideas. There are no bad ideas in brainstorming.

This helps everyone to collaborate and work towards a solution together.

Once you have some ideas, have a healthy, respectful discussion of each option. Talk about the pros and cons. The final solution may be a combination of ideas from multiple people. In fact, it would be best if it was!

Agreement and Implementation: A Calm Path Forward

John and Lisa were able to find common ground and come up with a solution they both agreed on.

From there, work to reach an agreement on what the final solution should be. Lisa and John agreed to a mixture of priorities from each of their respective areas of concern. Because they were able to have a calm, mediated conversation, they were better able to see each other’s side of the story and see that they both had the best of intentions.

As I learned at Apple, “always assume positive intent.” Basically, go into conversations assuming everyone has the best of intentions. No one really intentionally comes into work trying to be a jerk. Sometimes it just comes across that way when people feel strongly or are passionate about something.

Once an agreement is reached, you should help them make a plan to put it into action. And be specific! Who, specifically, will be doing what? Lisa and John agreed on who would write requirements and put them into our project tracking system.

After a mediation session is over, you should check in regularly to make sure the solution is working. You may even want to suggest regular check-ins between everyone if the conflict has been long-lasting or is having a big impact on the team.

Sam set up a biweekly touch base between herself, Lisa, and John to make sure everyone stayed on the same page and that they would have a space for discussing any potential competing priorities before tensions festered again.

The Importance of Communication Skills for Leaders

Sam perfected all those skills by working with me. She really helped create an environment where everyone felt heard, comfortable voicing their opinions and points of view, and wanted to collaborate together.

And similarly with my parents, I was able to mediate a real discussion between them and, after really listening to each other, they decided to call a tree professional to see if the tree was able to be saved.

Conflict Resolution for Leaders: A Crucial Skill for New Leaders

Conflict resolution for leaders is challenging. When leading mediation between team members, being a confident leader is among the most important, if not the most important, skills you should learn. You have to be able to express yourself clearly, actively listen to each side of the discussion, and adjust your communication style for the situation as needed.

If you need help becoming the confident leader I know you can be, I can help. Apply for a free discovery call here.